A humorous fantasy text adventure into the dark heart of retail.

BLOOD BATH & BEYOND places you in the unenviable shoes of a retail worker in Books Blades & Beyond, the grandest department store in the grandest city in the realms.

Do your best to please irate shoppers, survive homicidal Customer Service Golems, and unravel a capitalist conspiracy that could destroy everything you love. Hey, at least you get a full 30 minutes for lunch.*

*Management reserves the right to shorten all lunch breaks by up to 30 minutes.

Why should you give a shit?

  • It’s a hilarious 45,000-word fantasy adventure about greed, betrayal, and minimum wage employment!
  • Has more than 10 endings with achievement tracking across sessions!
  • Features brand-new music from the inimitable Alex Grover!
  • It’s free!

Check it out now on!

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